I remember when I used to write a whole lot. For any reason, really. To express how I felt, to stoke my creative fire, in trying to woo women. Something nearly no one knows about me is that when I was in high school, I penned some poetry. Usually, when one recalls their first stab at anything, it's amateurish and obsequious to clearly defined guidelines.
Like when you first start playing the guitar, a nice three-cord song lets the musician get off the ground. Slowly building confidence and a mastery of the beginning so you can progress further down the rabbit hole. My first poems were similar in nature, but had a definable quality I no longer possess as a person.
My passion has been a dying fire for a while now. Also, I realized I would go to any lengths to make a female happy, mostly ones who had no interest in reciprocation. What's that called...unrequited love? Back to the task at hand... Where did that drive to please a woman just evaporate to? Anyhow, the fire is not completely unstokable, but it definitely needs some sparks or gas thrown on it pronto. A co-worker just told me to stay out of trouble as he was leaving work and I said, "That's all I seem to get into." The funny part is I'm sure I mean that, but in what way? In unrelated news, this blog has an auto-save feature for your rough draft so you don't lose great ideas. My Space needs to get on that immediately. I've lost moments of clarity I might never get back to malfunctions in cyberspace. As great as it is that we can store millions of words in a space 1/100,000 or so smaller than paper, pen on white is still the safest way to make sure that what you are saying gets heard.
There's two songs I'm hearing in my mind right now. "Clarity" by John Mayer and "Moment of Clarity" by Jay-Z. I think it's rather obvious what those two ditties share in common, yet in those moments of crystal clearness I feel some sadness. Not that anyone can see into the future (and, if they can, I just have a question or two for you!), but sometimes I can see the way things are supposed to unfold. Right now, I am not letting that happen. I need to go with the flow a little more and let my mind just be at ease.
Also, I had a pretty good time in Las Vegas. It was better than my first trip in some ways and not as good in others. The phrase, "You can't have your cake and eat it" made absolutely no sense to me...until now. For those who might read this, I love having my own blog with my own name so I would venture to guess I'm going to be on here more often. Peace.
